Why you no husband?

Camberwell, Australia


I spent the week exploring Melbourne.. well, apart from that one morning I got locked into the apartment by El.. I loved what it had to offer – the shops were quirky, the cafes were warm and inviting and the food was delicious! I swear, all I do is sit in cafes, drink hot chocolate and stroke my imaginary goatee, trying to look all wise..

Friday came, and Sofie and I decided to go to VCD for their street day where organisations came and explained what services they provided. Sofie is the girl I met in the hostel In Cairns by the way, remember..? Turns out she lived around the corner from Janelle! Such a small world. I’m glad I went because I met a guy I knew from my days in Nepal when I worked with the VSO, Ramesh – he came over for the WFD, and decided to visit his sister in Melbourne. It was lovely to catch up with him and hear about how everyone was doing over there. He was surprised to hear that I was single. “Why you no husband? You pretty.” He insisted that I ditch Australia and come over to Nepal to live with him for a year, and he’d help me find a husband. I guess he didn’t get the memo..

Afterwards, we went to Prahran Hotel for a few drinks. It’s never just a few drinks when it comes to the Melbourne boys though.. shots after shots, drinks after drinks and I was starting to feel rather tipsy and I made my excuses and went home. They pleaded with me to stay, but I was moving into my new house the next day! I had to go home and pack. This would be the first time I travelled around Melbourne in the evening on my own. True to form, I got off the wrong stop and ran like a headless chicken all the way home. Thank God for Google maps.

The next day, I packed all of my things and went to The Tradeblock cafe to meet some others to talk about DYV – Deaf Youth Victoria, a youth association that would set up workshops and social events to empower the youths, provide them with information and encourage them to socialise with their peers. It was an interesting morning with a lot of debates! Afterwards, Janelle and I made our way to JB’s house, where the boys were currently staying until we would move into our new house. When I arrived, I was told that we had no gas and electric as everyone was too busy to call the provider. Umm. hi? Unemployed person here, I could’ve called them up? Because it was the weekend, we wouldn’t be able to get anything done until the following Friday. I was not amused, but such is life. Sofie, Janelle and I got into the car and made our way over to the house in Burwood. As we drove, I can’t explain it but I had a strange feeling. I wasn’t entirely comfortable with moving so far away. I had NO problems with the people in the house – they’re all wonderful, but something didn’t feel right. I thought I would wait until I arrived at the house before I made a decision.

We arrived at the house and it was HUGE! It had 5 bedrooms, a study, two bathrooms, and a conservatory with a kitchen and pool table. As we looked around the house, I kept thinking to myself, ‘It’s amazing, but it doesn’t feel like home..?’ It was too far away – I should have looked at the house first before agreeing to move in. Janelle took me aside and said, ‘We all make mistakes. we learn from it, and we move on.’

My gut instinct was telling me not to move in. I thought back to when I was looking for a house with my boys back in Woodford Green. We searched high and low for a place but never seemed find a place that was just right.. until the estate agent told us that she had to make a quick stop at a house that had been deserted by the previous tenant. As we climbed over the pile of bills, into the dark and dingy kitchen and living room, we all had a funny feeling. Despite how dark, smelly and dirty it was, there was a certain charm about it – we felt strangely attached to it, and we told the estate agent that we would take it. After a couple days of scrubbing and hard work thrown in, it was gorgeous, warm and inviting – we had made it our home. All because we had THAT feeling, and I didn’t have it with this house. Thankfully Janelle and Sofie persuaded me to tell the boys how I felt, I felt bad about letting them down. But they were understanding, and told me to do whatever made me feel happy. I realised.. you have to give yourself permission to immediately walk away from anything that gives you bad vibes. There is no need to explain or make sense of it.

Jarrad and Senja were also admiring the house, and an idea formed into our heads – what if they moved into the house instead? So, with some gentle persuading, we persuaded them to move in, and Sofie would take their place at their house because it was only a 3km bike ride to her university. We could feel excitement rising in the room, I could see everyone’s eyes darting across the room, excited and nervous glances were exchanged. I could see they were all thinking, ‘Are we doing this? Is this really happening..?’.. it was all so sudden, but it felt so right.

It was settled, they would move in. We spent the next hour chattering excitedly, and as I looked at the smiles on everyone’s faces, I smiled and thought to myself..

‘Wow. Everyone’s lives changed in an instant, for the better. All this happened, simply because I said no…’

A warm glow came all over me. Life is about learning from the past, trusting your intuition going forward, taking chances, finding moments of happiness, and realising that everything is simply a lesson that happens for a reason. You have to expect the unexpected because life is always full of surprises. (I now have Cilla Black jumping around and shouting in my head. Great.) There will come moments in life where things will happen that you can’t prevent from happening, because they’re meant to happen – but instead of running away from it, you should embrace it, solve it and learn from it.

I also realised this meant I was still homeless and unemployed. But you know what..? I’m in Australia – I threw caution to the wind, and set sail. If things don’t work out, that’s ok. I have a home, I have a family that I love dearly (and at times, would happily beat the **** out of), and a fantastic group of friends. Whatever happens, I know I have them all to come back to – I can say that I tried, and had fun. As I once said before, despite whatever adversities we might face, we’re still capable of enjoying life when it gives us that opportunity. I always thought that the ‘enjoy every moment’ line was cheesy, and maybe it is, but we all have times in life when we’re allowed to just be happy. We don’t always know when they’re coming or when they’re going, but they exist.. and there’s a lot to be said for that.

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